Why Can't We All Just Get Along?

At one point in all our lives, we have been in a toxic relationship; whether you were the one being toxic or the other person was toxic to you. What does it mean to be in a toxic relationship? Well there are several definitions for “toxic relationship”. My definition of toxic relationship is when someone(s) or something that is interfering with the path to a happy, fulfillment life. Toxic relationships happen in every type of relationships: boyfriend/girlfriend, families, or friends.

Toxic people tend to hold you back from your aspirations, dreams, and also tend to be negative and talk down to you. Basically, toxic people bring good people down. All they do is use him/her for his/her enjoyment and fulfillment. More than often, they will keep doing it over and over. They use people. They manipulate people to believe that it’s right to do something when it feels wrong in your heart. You almost need a smack in the head with a 2x4 to wake up and realize what this person is doing.

One of the best things about taking this Interpersonal Communications class is how much I learned about the difference between verbal and nonverbal communication. I've actually started to pay more attention to people's body language, not just the verbal communication. It's nice to know the meaning's behind the nonverbal communication and try to pinpoint what they're truly saying.

Anyways, I’ve been in several toxic relationships with people. Not physically but verbally. It hasn’t happened much with family but it happens more with “friends” and coworkers. For example, I have a problem with one of my coworkers. He has been known to get whatever he wants when it comes to the workplace, and he's not even a supervisor or an immediate supervisor. Every time something goes wrong, no matter how big or small, or if he needs something, no matter the expense, he runs to the SAC (Service Area Coordinator) always gets it. And every time this happens, somehow I get screwed. By the way, I should mention that this people are friends. They even hang out together outside the workplace.

The City of St. Paul is having financial issues. We are losing LGA money from the State of Minnesota. Therefore, we are cutting back on staff hours across the board. Since the beginning of the year, I have lost 18 hours (from 30 hours in January). This last week, this toxic person actually had the guts to go to the SAC and tell her that “Why is Kevin working more than me? I should be working more than anyone” (other than a full time employee, most are only part time). This is a case where he is only thinking of himself. (I should mention I’m talking about a guy who doesn’t even care about this job.) So what happens? The SAC went ahead and gave him more hours and cut my hours and another coworker’s hours. I went into depression because not only did I get my hours cut even more, but someone who I thought was a friend rated me out to a supervisor. I’m thankful that I didn’t get in trouble because of this. I confronted him about it a few days later. Long story short, it ended with me being called “pathetic,” therefore ending our so called “friendship”. After the weekend ended, he wanted to be friends with me again. I refused to even look at him (or talk), especially after he called me pathetic.

I can go all day about how this person is toxic but then I’ll be writing for the next 2 weeks. Who has the time to read all that? I suppose all there is to say is “budget cuts really bring the best to people.”

I didn’t let it affect my weekend though. I still went out Saturday night like nothing happened. It was nice to go out and have a great time with friends since I had the bad week at work.

As I’m typing this blog, there’s one quote that I can think of: “People, I just want to say, you know, can we all get along? Can we get along? Can we stop making it, making it horrible for the older people and the kids?...It’s just not right. It’s not right. It’s not, it’s not going to change anything. We’ll, we’ll get our justice....Please, we can get along here. We all can get along. I mean, we’re all stuck here for a while. Let’s try to work it out. Let’s try to beat it. Let’s try to beat it. Let’s try to work it out.” – Rodney King after the 1992 riots in Los Angeles.