The Pressure's On (Or In My Mind Off)

Earlier this morning, as I was heading to brunch in a St. Paul restaurant, I put on my Facebook status: "Kevin Jack was thinking (while riding Metro Transit route 54) when I made of the most important decisions regarding the future and there's no ands, ifs or buts about it". And that is: There's a very good change that I may never date again or for that matter, ever get married.

Over the last year, I have been questioned by some of my friends: How come you're not married? (This is usually when I give a smart ass answer. For example, "You haven't asked yet" or "It's a mystery right up there with 'Who shot JFK?' and 'Why don't other countries have better toilet paper?'" Basically, now that I'm in my mid-20s, I'm being pressured into this otherwise I'm considered a "drunk millionaire playboy" (I hope you get the movie reference).

Truth be told: I really don't want to for several reasons. It seems like in today's society, you need to be married before the age of 25 or otherwise you'll never get married.

1.) I've been hurt too many times. In every relationship I've been in, it has ended with the words: "You're not good enough for me". While I understand that some relationships work and some don't, is it necessary to tell another human being those 6 words? Oh, well. I survived. Their loss.

2.) I don't have the time. I spend 7 days a week working on something. Whether it's working at Edgcumbe or working on school assignments, there isn't a free minute that I have during the week to maintain or develop any relationships since I'm always on the road somewhere.

3.) I'm not even remotely close to being ready to have children. Some of my friends are my age. Most of them are already married and have children (or in some cases 2). I'm 24 years old, there's no way I would be ready to have children. Maybe when I turn 30 I'll start having children but until then, there's no way you'll see me with my own child.

4.) There isn't anyone out there anymore. No explanation needed. Everyone who is my age are already married or in a committed relationship so I won't waste my time with this.

I want everyone to know this. I'm not insecure, I'm not scared of commitment (okay fine, maybe a little) and I'm not knocking down dating and marriage. I'm questioning why people make this such a big deal when truth be told, it really isn't. Personally, I don't really care if I ever date again or get married for that matter. I'm happy either way. As long as I have good friends and family, I'm a happy camper. Sure it's going to be tough at times and I may miss out on things but I think I can survive. Whatever makes you happy, right? I guess you can say that I'm still waiting for that special someone to come into my life.

But this is life and it can change. If I met the right person, then I may have wasted my time writing this. You never know.

I suppose there's people who are going to keep pressuring and pressuring me to do so but my life isn't yours. Let me live my life and I'll let you live yours.