We haven't used our swimming pool in the last few years. I'm glad to see someone getting some use out of it.Thursday, April 30, 2009
I'm Glad To See SOMEONE Using the Pool
We haven't used our swimming pool in the last few years. I'm glad to see someone getting some use out of it.
Crazymakers
When I first heard of the term "crazymakers", I thought it meant people who like to be a little crazy, or creative, in their lives. Apparently, I wasn't even close to the actual meaning.
Psychologist George Bach uses the term "crazymakers" (It occures when people have feelings of resientment, anger, or rage that they are unable or unwelling to expres directly) to describe passive-aggression behavior (defined as "a communicator expresses hostility in an obscure or manipulative way).
What are the types of "crazymakers"? Here they are:
Avoider: Refuses to fight
Pseudoaccommodator: Pretends to give in and continues to act the same way
Guiltmaker: Try to make others feel responsible for causing pain. "It's OK, don't worry about me..."
The Mind Reader: Go into character analysis and say what their partner really means or what's wrong with their partner.
Trapper: Set up a desired behavior for their partners and then, when its met, attacking the very behavior they requested. "Let's be totally honest with each other.." and then attacks the self disclosure
Crisis Tickler: Almost bring about what's bothering them but never quite express themselves. If someone is concerned about finances, "Gee, how much did that cost?"
Gunnysacker: Thet put their resentments into a sack which they pour out at later date and overwhelm an unsuspecting victim
Trivial Tyrannizer: Do things that they know will get their partners goat --leaving dirty dishes in the sink, fingernail clippings in the bed, turning up the TV too loud, etc.
Beltliner: Strike blow the psychological beltlining by using intimate knowledge to hurt their partner
Joker: Kid with partners and block the expression of important feelings
Withholder: Instead of expressing anger honestly and directly they hold back something--courtesy, affection, sex.
Benedict Arnold: Get partners back by sabotage, by failing to defend them or encouraging ridicule from others.
Which one of these are you? I was surprised when I read the section and realized what I used on others and what others used on me. I won't say which one of these I am. I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea about me.
Source:
Looking Out, Looking In by Ronald B., Adler & Russell F. Proctor II
Psychologist George Bach uses the term "crazymakers" (It occures when people have feelings of resientment, anger, or rage that they are unable or unwelling to expres directly) to describe passive-aggression behavior (defined as "a communicator expresses hostility in an obscure or manipulative way).
What are the types of "crazymakers"? Here they are:
Avoider: Refuses to fight
Pseudoaccommodator: Pretends to give in and continues to act the same way
Guiltmaker: Try to make others feel responsible for causing pain. "It's OK, don't worry about me..."
The Mind Reader: Go into character analysis and say what their partner really means or what's wrong with their partner.
Trapper: Set up a desired behavior for their partners and then, when its met, attacking the very behavior they requested. "Let's be totally honest with each other.." and then attacks the self disclosure
Crisis Tickler: Almost bring about what's bothering them but never quite express themselves. If someone is concerned about finances, "Gee, how much did that cost?"
Gunnysacker: Thet put their resentments into a sack which they pour out at later date and overwhelm an unsuspecting victim
Trivial Tyrannizer: Do things that they know will get their partners goat --leaving dirty dishes in the sink, fingernail clippings in the bed, turning up the TV too loud, etc.
Beltliner: Strike blow the psychological beltlining by using intimate knowledge to hurt their partner
Joker: Kid with partners and block the expression of important feelings
Withholder: Instead of expressing anger honestly and directly they hold back something--courtesy, affection, sex.
Benedict Arnold: Get partners back by sabotage, by failing to defend them or encouraging ridicule from others.
Which one of these are you? I was surprised when I read the section and realized what I used on others and what others used on me. I won't say which one of these I am. I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea about me.
Source:
Looking Out, Looking In by Ronald B., Adler & Russell F. Proctor II
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Can Men and Women Just "Be Friends"?
I know this was a topic that I studied about a month ago in my Interpersonal Communications class but I was watching a report on WCCO Channel 4 News on Monday evening about men and women being "just friends". It left me wondering: Can they? Can men and women be "just friends." The only question I'm asking is: Why not?
In today's society, we've concluded that if we see people (who are in a committed relationship) hanging out with members of the opposite sex, it qualifies as cheating on their spouse. However, I don't believe that. I believe that is there is trust and honesty in the relationship, we should be able to be friends with whoever we want. While I understand the fact that jealousy may play a roll in outside relationships, it's also a good thing to have good friends that are members of the opposite sex.
When I was in a relationship with an ex-girlfriend, it was one of the hardest transitions in life I've ever been through. I didn't know anything about women or how they function (like I'll ever know the full story). However, I had a good friend (who was a girl) who was giving me some assistance on what I should do in any particular situation. While it did help, it made my ex a little jealous. That was not my intention. It blew up beyond proportion and couldn't resolve the conflict so we broke it off. But I still maintain my friendship with my friend.
Personally, I believe that having a good friend of the opposite sex is a good thing mainly becuase you get that feedback from someone who is the opposite sex and isn't the person you're with. As I said, as long as there's trust and honesty with the person you're with, there shouldn't be any problem maintaining friendships with the opposite sex.
In today's society, we've concluded that if we see people (who are in a committed relationship) hanging out with members of the opposite sex, it qualifies as cheating on their spouse. However, I don't believe that. I believe that is there is trust and honesty in the relationship, we should be able to be friends with whoever we want. While I understand the fact that jealousy may play a roll in outside relationships, it's also a good thing to have good friends that are members of the opposite sex.
When I was in a relationship with an ex-girlfriend, it was one of the hardest transitions in life I've ever been through. I didn't know anything about women or how they function (like I'll ever know the full story). However, I had a good friend (who was a girl) who was giving me some assistance on what I should do in any particular situation. While it did help, it made my ex a little jealous. That was not my intention. It blew up beyond proportion and couldn't resolve the conflict so we broke it off. But I still maintain my friendship with my friend.
Personally, I believe that having a good friend of the opposite sex is a good thing mainly becuase you get that feedback from someone who is the opposite sex and isn't the person you're with. As I said, as long as there's trust and honesty with the person you're with, there shouldn't be any problem maintaining friendships with the opposite sex.
Links:
http://wcco.com/specialreports/friends.opposite.sex.2.995911.html
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Conflict: Everyone Has to Deal With It
It is something that every relationship has to deal with. Conflict. There are many synonyms to describe conflict: Battle, brawl, clash, competition, discord, disharmony, duel, fight, strife, struggle, trouble, and violence. We use different types of metaphors to decribe conflict: "We often talk about conflict as a type of war", "conflicts are explosive", conflict sometimes seems "like a kinf of trial, in which one party accuses another", "Language that suggests that conflict is a mess", and using metaphors "of a game implies that one side has to defeat the other".
When it comes to handling conflict, it depends on the situation and the person who I'm talking to.
Avoiding (a lose-lose situation): Defined as "when people nonasseretively ignore or stay away from conflict. It can be physical or conversational." I use this almost immediately after any type of arguing. It helps me and the other person cool down a bit before we actually talk about it. It's better to avoid the person for a few days than to talk about it with a hot head, otherwise you may do or say something that you'll regret later.
Accommodating (a lose-win situation): Defined as "when you allow others to have their way rather than asserting your own point of view. I try my hardest not to do this type of conflict, otherwise I'm letting the other person know that I will do whatever he/she wants to do, even though I already made plans for that particular day/time.
Competing (a win-lose or sometimes degenerating to lose-lose situation): Defined as "a win-lose approach to conflict involves high concern for self and low concern of others. In my opinion, this is one of the worst ways to create a conflict. It's telling you that you are better than another person. Back when I was a child, I came across this quite often. When I was playing an organized pick up game of baseball or kickball, there was always one team that always played like they were the king of the world. They had to play the way they wanted to play. Whenever that team lost, they acted like a bunch of idiots. I guess the same can be said if you win every game and acted like a sore winner. That's what takes the fun out of games. I was always taught (when playing sports for an organized recreation center team) to win and lose with grace.
Compromising (a partial lose-lose situation): Defined as "given both people at least half of what they want, although both sacrifice part of their goals. I believe that every relationship, no matter who it is, has done something like this. In my mind this is a "win some, lose some situation."
Collaborating ( a win-win situation): Defined as a "showing a high degree of concern for both themselves and others. This is one of the best ways to solve a conflict. Instead of focusing on "me", you're focusing on "we". In this situation, you may want to continue what you and your partner are already doing, without having to make any changes.
How do you know what style to use? Well, it depends on these four factors:
The Relationship: How important is the relationship your having with the other person?
The Situation: How big or small is the issue? Is it worth fighting for?
The Other Person: You have to get a sense on how the other person is feeling. You want to make sure you are collaborating with that particular person.
Your Goals: What are your goals to dissolve the conflict? Will you have to accomidate the person? Or will you have to compromise?
When it comes to handling conflict, it depends on the situation and the person who I'm talking to.
Avoiding (a lose-lose situation): Defined as "when people nonasseretively ignore or stay away from conflict. It can be physical or conversational." I use this almost immediately after any type of arguing. It helps me and the other person cool down a bit before we actually talk about it. It's better to avoid the person for a few days than to talk about it with a hot head, otherwise you may do or say something that you'll regret later.
Accommodating (a lose-win situation): Defined as "when you allow others to have their way rather than asserting your own point of view. I try my hardest not to do this type of conflict, otherwise I'm letting the other person know that I will do whatever he/she wants to do, even though I already made plans for that particular day/time.
Competing (a win-lose or sometimes degenerating to lose-lose situation): Defined as "a win-lose approach to conflict involves high concern for self and low concern of others. In my opinion, this is one of the worst ways to create a conflict. It's telling you that you are better than another person. Back when I was a child, I came across this quite often. When I was playing an organized pick up game of baseball or kickball, there was always one team that always played like they were the king of the world. They had to play the way they wanted to play. Whenever that team lost, they acted like a bunch of idiots. I guess the same can be said if you win every game and acted like a sore winner. That's what takes the fun out of games. I was always taught (when playing sports for an organized recreation center team) to win and lose with grace.
Compromising (a partial lose-lose situation): Defined as "given both people at least half of what they want, although both sacrifice part of their goals. I believe that every relationship, no matter who it is, has done something like this. In my mind this is a "win some, lose some situation."
Collaborating ( a win-win situation): Defined as a "showing a high degree of concern for both themselves and others. This is one of the best ways to solve a conflict. Instead of focusing on "me", you're focusing on "we". In this situation, you may want to continue what you and your partner are already doing, without having to make any changes.
How do you know what style to use? Well, it depends on these four factors:
The Relationship: How important is the relationship your having with the other person?
The Situation: How big or small is the issue? Is it worth fighting for?
The Other Person: You have to get a sense on how the other person is feeling. You want to make sure you are collaborating with that particular person.
Your Goals: What are your goals to dissolve the conflict? Will you have to accomidate the person? Or will you have to compromise?
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Two News Stories That Left My Mind Boggled
I am one of those so called "news junkies." I go to sleep watching the news and I wake up watching the news. I read the news on my Blackberry and computer. You can say that I love to be informed about the daily events of the world.
One thing that amazes me when I watch or read the news is how many stupid people that are out there. I came across two stories on one website.
Story 1: Six Arrested When Party on Dinkytown Gets Out of Hand - http://kstp.com/news/stories/S899192.shtml?cat=1
What a shocker. It just had to happen on the weekend of the University of Minnesota's annual spring party: Spring Jam. It was reported earlier this week in the Minnesota Daily that the U of M had to cut police patrol in Dinkytown due to funding issues. Community leaders didn't want this to happen because it would create problems in the Dinkytown community. They knew parties were going to happen. I wonder how many of them actually read that article and were planning on taking advantage of the low police patrol? Apparently 400-500 people did.
My only question is: How many of them were A) Drinking, B) Underage or C) Both? My best guess would be letter C - both. The University campus is one small town itself - with at least 11,000 students, faculty and staff on campus. Is this what today's society is all about? Underage drinking. These people think that their invisible. Nothing bad will happen and if it does, mommy and daddy will take care of it. But if it's death, then it's a different story. Take the Amanda Jax story. While I'm sad that she died from drinking, I'm upset by the fact that her friends continued to encourage her to drink and the bartenders that kept serving her. Parents blamed the bar and her friends but didn't take into the account that Jax drank a lot previously.
I'll even admit that in my early 20s, I wanted to go out and drink. Heck there are times today that I want to go out and have a drink. Since I act mature for my age, I can keep it to a social level. Meaning I can have 1 or 2 and call it a night. But I'll admit once that I got a little crazy one night and had, in the words of Arthur Bach (from the movie Arthur) "I want more than enough". But I still remembered how to get home. Safely, even while on the bus.
I was having a conversation about something similar to this story with a transit driver who does Route 852 (an express route going from Downtown Minneapolis to Anoka via 35W, East River Road, and Northtown Mall). We were discussing a story that happened a couple years ago where high school age children were drinking, taking pictures and posting them on Facebook. The principle found them and suspended them. But, here comes mommy and daddy to the rescue, telling the media that "our kid(s) would never do something like that. What the school administration did was invasion of privacy and should be allowed to go back to school." What? "Our kids would never do that?" There's evidence that they DO that. Plus Facebook is a public domain. Anyone can view it. Personally, I'm glad that they got suspended.
Whatever happened to "you do the crime, you do the time?" I still remember growing up, I did bad things. I deserved to get punished. I deserved to do the time. And I learned from it. It seems that parents are trying to be their child(s) friend instead of being a parent. They're not learning the consequences of their actions by bailing them out of trouble.
I wonder if mommy and daddy will come to the rescue of their children after last night's Dinkytown riot? While I understand that parents have every right to defend their children, but of they break the law, why bother?
Story 2: Minn. Man Arrested for Leaving Girl, 5, in Charge - http://kstp.com/news/stories/S899044.shtml?cat=1
Are people getting stupider and stupider by the day? Why would anyone in there right mind leave a 5 year old alone, with two toddlers? It's the exact equivalent to leaving your child in a vehicle for that quick errand (see a previous blog posting).
I'm not going to get into this story very much since the stupidity level is way too high.....
I'm starting to realize that I maybe becoming too opinionated at times.....
Friday, April 24, 2009
Five clues that you are addicted to Facebook
I log on to Facebook several times a day. Whether it's by computer or on my Blackberry, I may have one of these problems that CNN Senior Medical Correspondent Elizabeth Cohen was talking about. I have the constant needed to be informed about what is going on in my friends & family's lives. But the same can be said for e-mail. When I was attending the University of Minnesota in 2003-04, I was constantly checking my e-mail account every 10 minutes. Sick huh?
After I left the University in 2004, a friend of mine persuaded me to join Facebook. I found myself addicted from the start. Back then, there was no status updates, or no news feed but it did list when your friends updated their profile. I found myself updating my profile at least once (if not more) a week. It was an obsession with the fake world instead of being obsessed with what is going on in the real world.
At first, I used it to keep in touch with my friends who I met during my year at the U. After the owners of Facebook made it available to everyone with a valid e-mail address, my friends list included family members, who I keep in touch via the social networking site. Now, I am closer to my family (at least my mom's side) because of the wonderful world of social networking.
After reading the article, the five signs of an addition are (with my personal comments included):
1. You lose sleep over Facebook.
Well, I haven't experienced a lose of sleep over Facebook. As a matter of fact, I always watch You Tube videos before I call it an evening. Even that, I'm still in bed by 11:00.
2. You spend more than an hour a day on Facebook
It depends on the day and what I have going on. When I have an enormous amount of work to do, I use Facebook as a "break" from work. If the weather is bad, then yeah, I spend way too much time on it.
3. You become obsessed with old loves
This happened only once. It ended rather quickly. I'm now over it. I'm hoping it never happens again.
Blog Owner's Note: Shortly after I posted this blog, a former crush of mine found me on Facebook and added me as a friend (obviously I accepted). Ha. Coincidence?
4. You ignore work in favor of Facebook
I will admit that I have done this. To me, Facebook is an escape of reality for a short time. A break if you call it. But I'm rather good about getting back to work and using the social networking site as a break.
5. The thought of getting off Facebook leaves you in a cold sweat
It may be hard. It's the exact equivalent to quitting smoking or stop doing drugs. Personally, I have gone through one whole day without Facebook. I didn't feel anything. It actually made me feel much better about myself. It has helped me to only be on the site when someone sends me a message or makes a comment about something.
After taking the Facebook Compulsion Inventory, I scored a 32, which means that I enjoy Facebook and consider it a big part of my life but it isn't probably controlling me. I suppose my addiction to Facebook wasn't bad as I though it would be. However, the fact that I'm not in a relationship with someone outside my family made a big difference in the outcome of my score. If I had been in a relationship with someone, who knows what my score would have been.
Remember: There is a life outside of Facebook. We need to remember that before social networking sites, we had to communicate face to face or over the phone. Maybe we should go back to that instead of social networking sites????
Links:
Five clues that you are addicted to Facebook: http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/04/23/ep.facebook.addict/index.html
The Facebook Compulsion Inventory: http://www.imagolady.com/Paula_Pile/A_Temptress_in_the_Computer/Facebook%20Inventory%20Test.pdf
After I left the University in 2004, a friend of mine persuaded me to join Facebook. I found myself addicted from the start. Back then, there was no status updates, or no news feed but it did list when your friends updated their profile. I found myself updating my profile at least once (if not more) a week. It was an obsession with the fake world instead of being obsessed with what is going on in the real world.
At first, I used it to keep in touch with my friends who I met during my year at the U. After the owners of Facebook made it available to everyone with a valid e-mail address, my friends list included family members, who I keep in touch via the social networking site. Now, I am closer to my family (at least my mom's side) because of the wonderful world of social networking.
After reading the article, the five signs of an addition are (with my personal comments included):
1. You lose sleep over Facebook.
Well, I haven't experienced a lose of sleep over Facebook. As a matter of fact, I always watch You Tube videos before I call it an evening. Even that, I'm still in bed by 11:00.
2. You spend more than an hour a day on Facebook
It depends on the day and what I have going on. When I have an enormous amount of work to do, I use Facebook as a "break" from work. If the weather is bad, then yeah, I spend way too much time on it.
3. You become obsessed with old loves
This happened only once. It ended rather quickly. I'm now over it. I'm hoping it never happens again.
Blog Owner's Note: Shortly after I posted this blog, a former crush of mine found me on Facebook and added me as a friend (obviously I accepted). Ha. Coincidence?
4. You ignore work in favor of Facebook
I will admit that I have done this. To me, Facebook is an escape of reality for a short time. A break if you call it. But I'm rather good about getting back to work and using the social networking site as a break.
5. The thought of getting off Facebook leaves you in a cold sweat
It may be hard. It's the exact equivalent to quitting smoking or stop doing drugs. Personally, I have gone through one whole day without Facebook. I didn't feel anything. It actually made me feel much better about myself. It has helped me to only be on the site when someone sends me a message or makes a comment about something.
After taking the Facebook Compulsion Inventory, I scored a 32, which means that I enjoy Facebook and consider it a big part of my life but it isn't probably controlling me. I suppose my addiction to Facebook wasn't bad as I though it would be. However, the fact that I'm not in a relationship with someone outside my family made a big difference in the outcome of my score. If I had been in a relationship with someone, who knows what my score would have been.
Remember: There is a life outside of Facebook. We need to remember that before social networking sites, we had to communicate face to face or over the phone. Maybe we should go back to that instead of social networking sites????
Links:
Five clues that you are addicted to Facebook: http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/04/23/ep.facebook.addict/index.html
The Facebook Compulsion Inventory: http://www.imagolady.com/Paula_Pile/A_Temptress_in_the_Computer/Facebook%20Inventory%20Test.pdf
Thursday, April 23, 2009
A Scary Moment
I started riding the bus back in March 2003. I was on the On The Job Training program that St. Paul Public Schools were offering. However, at that time, I had a job that would require me to work at night. So what would I do? I went home at 11:00am. In order for me to get there, I would have to take Metro Transit home since the school didn't offer school bus service to where ever.
Since then I have experienced a lot of different life on the bus (one story is posted on a previous blog), I have experienced new relationships with drivers (at least the St. Paul drivers), and the most interesting people one can find. People puking (on and off the bus), fights at bus stops, bums, business people, arguments, listening to very interesting conversations (whether it was face to face or on a cell phone). There are many more experiences that I experienced but can't think of them right now. One thing I never experienced was being involved in an accident. (Obviously this is one thing that no one wants to experience.)
Today that changed. I was on my way to Minneapolis to make another connection with another bus to take me to Mahtomedi. I was going to take an express bus to Minneapolis but I noticed that a friend of mine was driving the Route 50 line (a limited stop route from Downtown St. Paul to Downtown Minneapolis via University Ave, Washington Ave & the U of M area). I wasn't in a big rush at the time to get there so I decided to take the Route 50 bus. After the bus picked up all it's downtown St. Paul customers, the bus was crossing Cedar Street & 12th Street when someone crashed into the side of the bus.
This was my observation of what happened: The bus was heading north on Cedar Street when the light turned yellow, just as the bus was getting to the corner. Seeing the bus wasn't going to stop, the light turned red while the bus was in the intersection. I so happened to look behind me (if you know Metro Transit, I was on a low-floor articulated - accordion style - bus), I saw a car, who was heading west on 12th Street (I'm assuming this person was going to get on either 94 West or 35E South) crashed right into the side of the bus at great speed. I was sitting in the front of the bus, right next to the front wheel, where the crash happened. I don't know if this person hit the brakes or what but it wasn't a good situation. Quite the scary moment.
After the bus made a stop in front of a National Guard building on Cedar Street & Columbus Street, I, along with a few others, ran to the scene of the crash, where one lady was holding her arm. When I got there, one person was on the phone with the cops and National Guard members tending to the injured lady on the sidewalk.
Moments later, the scene was covered with the Metro Transit & St. Paul Police Departments, the City fire department, more National Guard members, witnesses and on-lookers. While most everyone took the next bus and move on to their destination, I along with a few others stayed on the scene, to give the Metro Transit Police & Supervisors our observations on what happened. For the second time in less than 2 weeks, I was dealing with the police.
The lady who was in the car sustained, probably sustained a broken arm, had some cuts on there chin and a bloody mouth. Three people complained about pain in their necks (but as we all know, most of the time, these people are looking to make a buck). I escaped any type of injury, even though I felt the impact of the crash. There was about 15 - 20 people total on the bus at the time. Thankfully, it looks like everyone is going to be okay and get a full recovery from this accident.
What's going to happen? I know that the driver will most likely be put on paid administrative leave while the investigation rolls on and given a drug & alcohol test (which from my understanding is normal procedure). The police will review the tapes from the bus and from the National Guard and go from there.
As I said, I'm a 6 year "veteran" of Metro Transit. I have developed and maintained friendships with the drivers (as I said, mainly out of East Metro Garage in St. Paul). Many drivers have told me that the makers of the buses made them so they wouldn't sustain major damage. Guess they were right. It left a few scratch marks and dents on the bus but will be drivable in the future. The car is a complete loss though.
By no means was I defending my friend in this. I gave the police and supervisors what I believed to be an accurate description of what happened. But as we all know, surveillance cameras do not lie and I could be wrong.
I don't know who was at fault in this accident but it is a reoccurring reminder that we - whether your a bus driver, a driver in a private vehicle, a biker or pedestrian - have to look out for others. As we all know, there are stupid people out there that are not paying attention.
Eventually, I got to the bus I needed. I needed Route 270E (from Downtown Minneapolis to Mahtomedi via 35W North, Highway 36 & Maplewood Mall) to Mahtomedi where I was meeting someone. While on the bus, I thought the same thing was going to happen. A couple of close calls, one on Central Ave & 2nd Ave SE and one on Highway 36 & Cleveland Ave. I'm already on edge because of the earlier accident. I kept thinking to myself: "Today is the second time in less than two weeks I've dealt with the Metro Transit Police; I don't want to deal with them twice in one day."
Though out the remainder of the day/early evening, every time the bus hit it's brakes for any reason, I got his uneasy feeling in my stomach, therefore making me look out the window and thinking the bus was going to hit something.
PS. The first time I dealt with the Metro Transit police was on Metro Transit Route 54 (a limited stop bus from the Mall of America to Downtown St. Paul via the MSP Airport and West 7th St) on Saturday, April 11th. This time I was dealing with a mother assaulting and shaking her 4 year old son on the bus. I stayed back to file police reports on what I saw.
Since then I have experienced a lot of different life on the bus (one story is posted on a previous blog), I have experienced new relationships with drivers (at least the St. Paul drivers), and the most interesting people one can find. People puking (on and off the bus), fights at bus stops, bums, business people, arguments, listening to very interesting conversations (whether it was face to face or on a cell phone). There are many more experiences that I experienced but can't think of them right now. One thing I never experienced was being involved in an accident. (Obviously this is one thing that no one wants to experience.)
Today that changed. I was on my way to Minneapolis to make another connection with another bus to take me to Mahtomedi. I was going to take an express bus to Minneapolis but I noticed that a friend of mine was driving the Route 50 line (a limited stop route from Downtown St. Paul to Downtown Minneapolis via University Ave, Washington Ave & the U of M area). I wasn't in a big rush at the time to get there so I decided to take the Route 50 bus. After the bus picked up all it's downtown St. Paul customers, the bus was crossing Cedar Street & 12th Street when someone crashed into the side of the bus.
This was my observation of what happened: The bus was heading north on Cedar Street when the light turned yellow, just as the bus was getting to the corner. Seeing the bus wasn't going to stop, the light turned red while the bus was in the intersection. I so happened to look behind me (if you know Metro Transit, I was on a low-floor articulated - accordion style - bus), I saw a car, who was heading west on 12th Street (I'm assuming this person was going to get on either 94 West or 35E South) crashed right into the side of the bus at great speed. I was sitting in the front of the bus, right next to the front wheel, where the crash happened. I don't know if this person hit the brakes or what but it wasn't a good situation. Quite the scary moment.
After the bus made a stop in front of a National Guard building on Cedar Street & Columbus Street, I, along with a few others, ran to the scene of the crash, where one lady was holding her arm. When I got there, one person was on the phone with the cops and National Guard members tending to the injured lady on the sidewalk.
Moments later, the scene was covered with the Metro Transit & St. Paul Police Departments, the City fire department, more National Guard members, witnesses and on-lookers. While most everyone took the next bus and move on to their destination, I along with a few others stayed on the scene, to give the Metro Transit Police & Supervisors our observations on what happened. For the second time in less than 2 weeks, I was dealing with the police.
The lady who was in the car sustained, probably sustained a broken arm, had some cuts on there chin and a bloody mouth. Three people complained about pain in their necks (but as we all know, most of the time, these people are looking to make a buck). I escaped any type of injury, even though I felt the impact of the crash. There was about 15 - 20 people total on the bus at the time. Thankfully, it looks like everyone is going to be okay and get a full recovery from this accident.
What's going to happen? I know that the driver will most likely be put on paid administrative leave while the investigation rolls on and given a drug & alcohol test (which from my understanding is normal procedure). The police will review the tapes from the bus and from the National Guard and go from there.
As I said, I'm a 6 year "veteran" of Metro Transit. I have developed and maintained friendships with the drivers (as I said, mainly out of East Metro Garage in St. Paul). Many drivers have told me that the makers of the buses made them so they wouldn't sustain major damage. Guess they were right. It left a few scratch marks and dents on the bus but will be drivable in the future. The car is a complete loss though.
By no means was I defending my friend in this. I gave the police and supervisors what I believed to be an accurate description of what happened. But as we all know, surveillance cameras do not lie and I could be wrong.
I don't know who was at fault in this accident but it is a reoccurring reminder that we - whether your a bus driver, a driver in a private vehicle, a biker or pedestrian - have to look out for others. As we all know, there are stupid people out there that are not paying attention.
Eventually, I got to the bus I needed. I needed Route 270E (from Downtown Minneapolis to Mahtomedi via 35W North, Highway 36 & Maplewood Mall) to Mahtomedi where I was meeting someone. While on the bus, I thought the same thing was going to happen. A couple of close calls, one on Central Ave & 2nd Ave SE and one on Highway 36 & Cleveland Ave. I'm already on edge because of the earlier accident. I kept thinking to myself: "Today is the second time in less than two weeks I've dealt with the Metro Transit Police; I don't want to deal with them twice in one day."
Though out the remainder of the day/early evening, every time the bus hit it's brakes for any reason, I got his uneasy feeling in my stomach, therefore making me look out the window and thinking the bus was going to hit something.
PS. The first time I dealt with the Metro Transit police was on Metro Transit Route 54 (a limited stop bus from the Mall of America to Downtown St. Paul via the MSP Airport and West 7th St) on Saturday, April 11th. This time I was dealing with a mother assaulting and shaking her 4 year old son on the bus. I stayed back to file police reports on what I saw.
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